Remember when you first became a Mum and you couldn’t bare to be away from them?
I had been to the supermarket with my Mum about a week after bub was born. Bub was home with his father. I was only gone for thirty minutes when I became highly anxious and burst into tears. I fretted that my newborn might be starving – I was his main source of food! We raced back home and he was fast asleep in his cot. Hubby was watching TV like he had never been more relaxed!
When my little boy was 7 months, however, I received a text from a girlfriend wanting to have a night out without the kidlets, and I almost cried. She had been feeling claustrophobic in her house and just needed some time off – I felt exactly the same!
At some stage over the last few months I had turned from not wanting to leave my baby to take the rubbish out, to needing to get out before I suffocated in the confines of my house.
I hadn’t been out at night without my babe since he was born. I was desperate just to have some time off, desperate to go out for dinner and live like ‘the normal people’ do just for one night. I instantly replied to my friend ‘oh thank god, yes‘.
I had been anxious leading up to the big day and when it finally arrived I was super nervous. So much so I was wondering if I was developing some kind of social phobia.
I had been planning what I was going to wear all week. Things that once upon a time I would do on a daily basis became so exciting – I was going to wear makeup, put a dress and slip on some high heels. It was a big deal!!
I had a back up plan in place. I had expressed enough milk so hubby could give an emergency feed if bub wouldn’t settle down. I put bubby’s pajamas out, set up the nappy station and organized the cot. Writing this makes it sound like my husband is completely useless, he’s not (he’s actually very capable), but I was just so nervous I had to ensure that everything was going to be okay in my absence.
Finally it was time to leave. I was ready and eager to go. Bub wasn’t asleep, he wouldn’t sleep off a feed, which worried me as this was my grand plan. I was fussing around so much before I left, hubby ended up saying ‘just go already, you’re being ridiculous‘.
‘Okay, alright‘, I said ‘but you’ve got my number and I’m only down the road so I can be back within five minutes if anything goes wrong‘. It was true, I was only down the road… and yes I was being completely ridiculous.
When I met with the girls they told me they had been the same. One of them had left the house and turned the car around so that her hubby could have the car with the car seat in case they needed to go to the hospital! Her bub had never needed to go to the hospital before.
During the course of the night we talked about our babies… a lot. You know when people say that all mums talk about are their kids when they are not around their kids, well it’s absolutely true!! We talked about things that all parents talk about… poo, wee and vomit. We talked about being pregnant, giving birth and tearing. We complained about childcare, losing baby weight and the smell of solid poos. We laughed at all the stupid things we had done as mums, and all the wonderful things our babies were doing. We drank wine, ate delicious food and gossiped.
Overall it was a pretty fun night. There wasn’t anything particularly exciting or adventurous about it but it was just so damn nice to get out of the house and be ‘me’ again. Plus, there were no disasters when I got home. I had this vision of walking in the door and finding bubby hanging off the light fittings with scissors in his hand, or climbing on the bench to put a knife in the toaster. But alas, there was nothing like that. Both hubby and bubby were fast asleep as if they didn’t have a worry in the world!
So in light of this positive experience I would recommend to any new mums, or any mums in general, who are feeling a little claustrophobic in their home or haven’t left the house for a few days, to call up a girlfriend and go out for dinner. It will make you feel so much better and the world won’t come to an end.
What was your first experience out of the house without bub?
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